Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Hate
There's a couple of different memes going around on the topic of hate. Lists of things and people you hate and so forth. I won't embarrass participants by linking to any, but I'm sure you know the kind of thing I'm talking about.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that I couldn't complete those memes. In fact, I was quite repelled by them. I have, it seems, almost completely lost the ability to hate.
Oh, I'm no saint. I have plenty of pet peeves, plenty of things that annoy and aggravate me. But it is very rare that I ever feel the temptation to use the word "hate" to describe such feelings.
My personal path to not-hating was not especially inspirational at first. In my previous work in politics, I viewed hate as a strategic disadvantage. I reasoned that, if you hated an opponent, it would limit your ability to see things from his perspective which would in turn limit your ability to out-wit and defeat him. (Sadly, this is a bit of political strategy that is widely forgotten in these times when partisan hatreds seem to have reached a fever pitch.)
Later, as I tried to become more serious about Buddhism, I started to make a more deliberate effort to eliminate hateful thoughts for spiritual reasons. I've gone so far as to make great efforts to avoid killing insects (although I make exceptions for aggressive insects and those which might pose a health hazard.)
No matter what the path, the results have been positive. I've come to view hatred as a corrosive, addictive pursuit, like smoking. Losing hatred brings a tremendous feeling of freedom.
This is when spirituality works best: when it delivers palpable benefits to one's day to day life, rather than clouding the issue with fantasies of a supernatural afterlife.
(I may not feel hatred, but as you can see I am still an inveterate shit disturber ;-)
posted by The Propagandist @ 3:18 PM,
6 Comments:
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At 4:00 AM,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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What, oh great one, is the solution to my hobo spider problem? I keep killing them but they keep coming back. They pose a great danger to me...am I justified in killing them? -
At 5:59 AM,
Library Mama said...
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I'm not sure I "hate" either, but I am a master at holding a grudge.
And, although you criticize me for it, Mentok, I think it actually does deliver "palpable benefits to" my "day to day life".
You see, by guiding and focusing my negative feelings (which all people are bound to have at one time or another) toward one or two select targets, I can focus more of my positive feelings to those I love.
In layman's terms, I guess I'm saying that, although you may be a better person than I because you don't "hate", you yell at the kids more than I do.
(See, you aren't the only SD in our home.) ;-) -
At 7:36 AM,
Mentok said...
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Hippo - I'm no expert, but I would judge a hobo spider infestation to be a health hazard so therefore you are justified in exterminating them...as long as you don't enjoy it. I faced a similar dilemma this summer with an ant infestation. Reasoning with them yielded limited results, so I broke down and got traps.
Library Mama - yeah, I said I'm no saint either. But don't spin me this spin about focusing your negative energy. First of all, you enjoy your grudges, the list gets continually longer and never gets smaller. Second, you seem to have plenty of negative energy left over when you need it. ;-)
(Look, see, smiley face, just kidding, honey. Slowly back away from that rolling pin, please ;-) -
At 4:52 PM,
FiL said...
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Oh-oh, I smell a domestic brewing...
Joking aside, I wholeheartedly agree, Dear Mentok. Hate is destructive. And I must say I don't see the value of grudges - they poison and congest. Sure, we are all prone to feelings of hate and grudges. But instead of feeding them, I think it's far healthier to focus on understanding and dissolving them.
However, despite my views, I too probably yell more at our kids than does my Dearest Wife...
Oh, and just in case, let me deploy a talismanic ;-) as well...
FiL -
At 11:24 AM,
Mentok said...
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Thanks for the back-up FiL. I agree with you about grudges. I find them a burden and am always happy for an excuse to get rid of one.
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At 2:53 PM,
Library Mama said...
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Why wait for an excuse?
